Diane (not her real name) is a client I’ve worked with off and on for several years. Sometimes she’s motivated to take massive action and work hard to drop the 25 pounds she claims to want to lose…sometimes, not so much. [...]]]> Adapted from an article by my colleague, Latif Thomas of Athletes Acceleration (http://www.athletesacceleration.com/)

Diane (not her real name) is a client I’ve worked with off and on for several years. Sometimes she’s motivated to take massive action and work hard to drop the 25 pounds she claims to want to lose…sometimes, not so much. Her real issue isn’t that she doesn’t have a goal for her life, oh no.

Diane’s real issue is that she doesn’t expect to actually reach that goal. She hasn’t confidently identified her expectations. Now don’t get me wrong and think that I don’t believe in setting goals, because I do. Often times, however, goals are things that never actually happen.

Like the nightmare in your sleep recently. Or Santa Claus. (Sorry to be the one to have to tell you…)

A goal is only as good or solid as the expectation of its achievement. Expectations eradicate leeway, excuses and pathetic stories. In my experience most folks who say they would “like” to do something with respect to fat loss have lots of these…lofty dreams and wishful thinking rather than a concrete commitment to expectations.

I do my best to encourage people to set goals, and then take them a step further. I encourage them to speak them into existence through positive speech and mind set. Now, think about this. Have you ever met anyone who has stated confidently, “I’m going to drop 25 pounds and run a marathon this January!” (Or some other definitive statement to that effect)

Have you ever met anyone who has stated, “I sure would like to lose 25 pounds.”

In your experience, which person actually succeeded?

The person with the “like”: ‘I’d like to lose 25 pounds’.
The person with the expectation: ‘I’m going to lose 25 pounds and run that marathon!’

The first step on the path to a particular goals attainment is action. Therefore, take a distinct and focused action before beginning your program and set specific, targeted and exact expectations for the rest of the year. Most people never set clear expectations.

Here is how a conversation might go between me and Diane very soon:
ME: What are you going to weigh by the end of the year?
Diane: Well…uhhhh…..147?
ME: Are you asking me or telling me? 147 what? Kilos, ounces, …?
Diane: Mmmmm…147 pounds?
ME: You’re going to weigh 147 pounds by the end of this year?
Diane: (Silence, coupled with blank stare) …Yes. 147 pounds. That’s what I want to weigh this…
ME: That’s what you what?
Diane: What I want to…
ME: What you…
Diane: (rolling eyes) That’s what I’m going to weigh this year.
ME: So then, let me get this straight…you’re…
Diane: (smiling confidently) I’m going to weigh 147 pounds by the end of this year.

There now. Finally we’ve created a specific and targeted expectation, not some lame and half-hearted, “gosh, wouldn’t it be great to…” noise that will never take place.  And everything you do and say will be determined by whether or not you’re actually doing what it takes to meet that expectation.

Let me state for the record: I am singularly and ultimately committed to your commitment. In other words…we’re in it together. And please understand this; it’s not specifically about “winning”. I never pressure people to “win”. Reaching milestones and dropping dress sizes are derivatives of one’s commitment to their expectations. That’s an important distinction. It’s the journey that makes the final destination a pleasure. Please do not miss this point.

Try it. Make a concerted and audible commitment to an expectation with respect to your weight, endurance, strength level…whatever. I dare you.

Did you do it? Did you get all queasy and feel kind of wishy-washy because deep down you’re afraid to commit to something you think might be difficult.

Was that a yes?

Good. Here is a powerful statement to remember: Feel the fear and do it anyway. (It’s also a fabulous book by Susan Jeffers that you need to read…)

I’ve seen this done with many of my clients over the years. And once a person believes that they can meet their expectations in the gym, it’s a natural progression to get them to believe they can meet virtually any expectation in virtually any aspect of life.

That’s what we as coaches like to term “character development,” which ultimately is the real goal…

Please, if you don’t remember anything else, remember this: reaching the 147 pound mark is just the physical attainment of a succession of moments of specific focus, attention to detail and targeted action toward meeting a desired, targeted, particular expectation.

The clients with whom I am associated get results because I empower them. Sadly, few other people in their experience show as much personal interest. It’s really that simple. Last year, at the end of one of the sessions of class, one of my ladies said to me, “Thanks for not giving up on me, Steve.”

Truth be told all I did was not allow her to give up on herself. That’s the difference. It begins with ascertaining a clearly defined intention and establishing an expectation for success… whatever that means to you.

Now…what are your expectations?

What are you willing to do to make them come true?

Let’s get to work…

I tried, in vain I felt, to put some perspective on it…but it didn’t seem to [...]]]> I had a conversation recently with a client about her concern over whether or not the number she read on the scale was a big deal or not. Her entire existence, it seemed, was wrapped up in “that number.”

I tried, in vain I felt, to put some perspective on it…but it didn’t seem to really have much impact. Then it struck me.

I said, “You’re married, right?” She said, “Yes”

“Happily?”, I queried. Again she said, “Yes.”

“And what about your kids, are they doing well and are they healthy?” She looked at me kind of strangely, smiled and said, “Sure…they’re fine. Why do you ask?”

I stepped closer to her, looked into her eyes and said, “You’re a beautiful, happily married woman with healthy and happy kids. The rest is just bass fishing.”

Now she looked really confused, shook her head and replied, “What on earth are you talking about?”

I told her a story I had heard about several years ago.

It was a news story about a professional angler who had appeared on TV regularly and won a lot of big time tournaments. He had apparently been enjoying a large degree of success when something happened that changed, and more specifically, ruined his life.

It appeared that right before one of the major tournaments he was accused of using illegal bait. I never found out whether or not this guy was guilty or innocent, and it doesn’t really matter as that is an ancillary portion of the story.

What I do know is that the guy became so intoxicated with worry, anger and stress about the accusation that he ended up becoming depressed, taking medication, splitting from his wife and even losing his home.

I remember reading this story and thinking, “Dude, it’s just bass fishing. It ain’t cancer, it’s not the war in Iraq or starving children in Darfur… it’s just bass fishing.’

This guy had become so enamored with his sport that, what probably begun as a fun and relaxing hobby, had in turn become his entire universe; it had consumed him and become everything. It was more important to him than his wife, his family and his home. It was also apparently more important that his health and his sanity.

What I really wanted this young lady to recognize was that her energy wasted by focusing on this “number” was nothing more than bad information or opinions of others akin to bass fishing.

It was an opinion. And in my own opinion, it was a very bad one at that.

Here’s the way I see it: the scale has a purpose – it’s to measure meat and produce. That’s it.

If you’re really concerned whether or not your fat loss efforts are taking shape, do these 4 things:

1. Grab a tape measure. Measure your arms at the biceps, your waist around your belly button, your hips around your butt and your thighs, about three inches above the kneecap. Check each of those locations once weekly and keep track of them for 30 days. See what happens.
2. How do you look in the mirror naked? That’s where you will see subtle changes in your physique. Bumps going away and new lumps of muscle appearing.
3. How do your clothes fit? When they start getting baggy, celebrate. If they’re not, tighten your diet and increase your training intensity.
4. How do you feel overall? How is your eye color, the look of your skin, your hair. These things are indicators of overall health and if you’re going to look good you might as well be lean AND healthy.

I once had a good friend who’s uncle was a Battan Death March survivor. He told his Uncle about a “problem” he was having, to which his Uncle replied, “Is someone going to kill you?”

My friend said, “No.”

“Then you don’t really have a problem,” was all his Uncle said.

Sometimes it’s just bass fishing.

Steve
Your Prograde Professional

Prograde is the best!